SYAZAA(:

2009-11-07T00:14:00.004+08:00

hidop susah, mati tak nak. ape nak jadi? sighhhhhhhhhh.

im glad todays trng was not what i expected. juanma(our coach) is coming back on the monday/tuesday. shit. trainings are going to be a total hell time. fatshit is leaving for myanmar on tuesday and still got no time to meet me. grrrrrrrrrrrrr, i dont know la. up to you, your life. aurorabby is going to berak(hehe.) on tuesday too. NICE. buddys birthday is on tuesday. and i have training also on tuesday. Woahhhhhhhhhhhhh, life sucks or what.

i want to play floorball, but i wanna go aussie. i wanna work but i wanna play hockey to go aussie/floorball to play for Singapore Schs again. i wanna stop playing hockey, and play floorball but i wanna go aussie too. but at the same time, i wanna work to get $$ then i can shop all i want till im satisfied. pfffft.
its hard bein' me, trust me.

im going to live my two weeks without you, im sure it doesnt make a difference if your here or not here. jeeez, it sucks la. really. my instincts tell me that things are going to be different when you come back. im not sure if its good or bad. well, i hope its good. aku sayang kau la, kau tau tak? plus, you wont be here to wish on the 17th. siggggghhhhhhhhhh.

baby, im down down down downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

2009-11-04T03:20:00.001+08:00

" Sometimes two people have to fall apart,

to realize how much they need to fall back together. "

2009-11-03T23:46:00.002+08:00

Im not gonna pretend that im okay now. well, im NOT AT ALL OKAY. seein us like this realllly reallllly makes me wanna cry everyday of my life. but whats the use of crying? it does makes you feel better, but it doesnt solve the problem.

Sometimes, i wish i never met you so my life wouldnt have to be in this state. But, if i have never known you, i wouldnt be soooooooo happy. But, shit happens and nothing last forever.

i was so so so so so so sad, that i just broke down in the bus itself after you said goodbye. When you said, find another boyf ah. I really really wanted to slap you and just leave, but i didnt. Most of the time when im angry at you, for some reasons i just couldnt show or tell you that im really pissed/angry. but instead ill just come up with stupid reasons or just pretend that im not angry when actly, i really am. i understand that youre busy with your own life and shits. but you Dont take the initiative At All to meet me. you used to, but not anymore. At times, i feel like.... WTF, DO YOU KNOW ABOUT TRYING?

im sorry folks, i just dont feel like continuing.

and Silas, i hope youre reading this. i think i kept quiet for wayyyyy tooooooooooooooooooooo long and you thought that im okay with this. well, fuck you. i cannot take it anymore.

i hope you'll do something about it.

but ironically, i still love you.

2009-11-03T00:12:00.001+08:00

Having trngs are good, but the shit thing is that. i TOTALLY HATE FITNESS. jeeez, it just bugs the shit out of me. esp, when having PMS and cramps. woahhhhhhh. well anw, my life has been sucky for the past few days. i dont text my buddy anymore. boyf is being a bitch. people are just getting on my nerve. and, i think hockey is a waste of time.

the Singapore Combined School Floorball is organizing a try-outs on the 7th nov. I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA GO. but, i dont wanna commit too much. i mean, i have hockey which is like 4 times a week. -_______-" i feel like not playing hockey anymore, at all. grrrrr, i dont know.

SOMEONE, PLEASE HELP ME.

dear boy, i think that you are a GREAT boyFRIEND. and i know that i dont mean a thing to you, anymore. youre not the boy i used to know. whatever man, im not losing anything.

why am i with you, i pon tak tau.

2009-11-01T15:46:00.000+08:00

PMS fucks women up. We bleed for a week but never die from it. What are women made of?
- i totally agree with this.

2009-11-01T00:33:00.002+08:00

i'm having a blocked nose. i dont feel like blogging. nothing happened today, except went meet aurorababy.
im extremely tired.
AND I MISS SILAS ABDUL RAZAK BIN NOOR SHAH ALOT.
goodnight.

2009-10-30T22:39:00.000+08:00

HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE. I CANNOT TAKE IT.

2009-10-29T23:14:00.002+08:00

amazingly, todays trng was not as bad as on tuesday. (:

suddenly, just now when i came home. i feeeel so pissed/angry/sad/dissapointed/disturbed/ultra angry/blooody tired/extremely sad. everything all at once. yes. grrrr.

and, silas. i know you wont be reading this. well if you do, good. I FORKIN MISS YOU. jeeeeeeeeeez.

screw everything.

2009-10-28T23:45:00.006+08:00

Today, when i woke up, it felt like 1234567865432134213456787654 people had beaten me up and left me to sleep. i had a hardddddd time standing and sitting. i wanna apologise to meeza. i was suppose to meet meeza today, but i told her i wanted to meet arina instead cause she doesnt stay in yishun. so its kinda difficult to meet her, whereas you stay in yishun. and, i wanna apologise to arina too. im sorry i didnt meet up with you, my body ached like shittttttttt. until now im having troubles walking. ):

and Dear readers,
Remember a recent post of mine which i said
"its funny how girls always think that he's the one."?

i have proof that i was right. Apparently, this girl thought that he was the one.
"I thought you were the one.
Even my friends thought you were already the one.
But you went on betraying me during your trip.
why xxxxxx?"

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, another day of hell tmr):
xoxo

2009-10-27T22:57:00.002+08:00

I FREAKIN SURVIVED 17 ROUNDS OF RUNNING TODAY. OMFG. MY LEGS ARE KILLING ME. GOODNIGHT.

2009-10-27T14:15:00.000+08:00

i always thought that you were this goody-two-shoes kinda girl. but wooooooooooooooo, you totally changed my perspective of you babe. honestly. everybody knows that NO ONE IS PERFECT IS THIS WORLD. well if you think that you are some girl that has never bitched about anyone, prove it.

2009-10-26T23:46:00.001+08:00

waking up every morning knowing that the house is empty sucks. really. -_____-" my brother has been in NS for at least four days. omggggggggg, it seems so long. i hope he doesnt die in there. LOL.

today, when i woke up the first thing that came thru my mind was you. why? the first few msges totally turned me off. only then i realise that i should be more nicer to you. anw, all the best to the Womens team that are leaving tmr for bangkok. do Singapore proud! (:
TMR IS MY FIRST DAY OF TRAININGGGGGGGG. ): wish me luck. i dont wanna die on the first day.

and, i hope desperately for things to get better between us.

2009-10-25T15:37:00.002+08:00

i stayed up all night thinking about it.

its funny how girls always think that he's the one.

2009-10-25T00:20:00.000+08:00

And I'm getting bored waiting around for you.

We're not getting any younger.

2009-10-24T01:49:00.001+08:00

Seriously, this was my first ever movie that i cried through out in the movie in my whole life. i swear i cried like a baby. i aint kidding. if i had 20 thumbs, i'd give it 20 thumbs up! im telling you its worth watching it 5 times. unless youre not sick of it. THIS SHOW IS THE SHIT MAN!

so after watching the movie we went to macs and ate a lil. today was joke man! silat became sailat. hair straightener became ashtray cleaner. aiyoyoyo... but still, it was awesome. and guess what, after the movie some girl didnt wake up. and, one of my cousin heard that she was talking on the phone screaming, "she's not breathing!" so yknow what i meann..

Today is the 24th of oct. its Enrico elifh maricans birthday.

Dear Enrico, i doubt that you'll be reading this. but Happy birthday to you. even tho we dont spend alot of time tog, i want you to know that youre an awesome person. and Rico, YOURE MY IDOL MANSXZ! Youre so blooody young and bloooooody talented!

jeeez, i wish to be like you one day. well anw, Happy 18th. Love you.

later, i have to go over to my relatives place cause he is getting married this sunday. jeeez, i wanna go celebrate ricos and ians birthday.

Dear endlessmeltdown,

yes im sure it would have been an awkward moment for you the other day to tell me about him and me telling you about him. but i swear to god, i can go on my knees to tell you that i swear i was bloody glad that we talked. i mean, we do. but we didnt share every single thing like we did last time ever since primary sch. and i really really really hope that we can try to be like what we used to again. i know its going to be hard/awkward but lets try. and, im not sentimental okay. its just.. dissapointed for the time being. im not an emo kid. i cannot explain how im feeling, but i just want you to know that im happy for you to be back, really happy. ilyt.

well anw, pleaseeeeeeeeee pleaseeee make me live my life to the fullest before i go back to hell. i learnt something today. i learnt to be more appreciative.

and ohh, fatshit is injured. pooor boy, get well sooon. an ultra hot nurse nak help tak nak pulak. HAHA.

Ps: i miss my fat brother):

-No one derserves to be taunted or made to feel small.

good night.

2009-10-23T00:18:00.000+08:00

honestly, i miss us. ):

the us that we used to meet whenever we could and never fail to meet up for at least 5 times a week.

i miss the phone ringing and knew it was you.

we were once so strong.

well anw, Good luck to Love.

2009-10-22T14:02:00.001+08:00

ytd was awesome, im glad that you had the time to actually spend a day with me. i think its been like soooooooooooooooooooooooo bloooody since we went out together and had an i-swear-its-was-awesome long talks with you. our main motive was to do something else but we did something else. HAHA. nice. well anw, i hope we can do this often(: xoxo. and oh, fuck L & BB.

THIS IS SHIT MAN. but im glad that on mondays and sundays and wednesdays im free. well, my trainings are starting this 27th oct. and guess what, we're starting on fitness. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. CANNOT MAKE IT. I'LL JUST CURL UP AND DIE. thanks to some idiot, he said Persevere. i think youre right, no one else can help me):

One Last Thing.
i think that im losing everything slowly. im beginning to feel like i lost you and my best friend and maybe a few friends. first, i feel like i lost interest in you. IT SUCKS MAN, I DONT WANNA LOSE YOU. SO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. second, i dont have time for my best friend, i feel like we're losing touch of each othas life. Dammmnnn. Third, i dont talk to my friends anymore. i mean, its GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. whatever. i hate myself for now.

2009-10-21T00:15:00.000+08:00

you are almost perfect! so cuteeeeeeeeeeee!

2009-10-20T00:15:00.001+08:00

i really cannot stand this m-f, hate tagger. wtf did i ever do to you? jeeeez. grow up la.

2009-10-18T02:34:00.004+08:00

Personally, i think the show The Hills is blooody awesome. i dont say this alot, but i think its really good. i've learn alot from todays weekend marathon. heidi and lauren used to be best friends, but soon heidi met spencer. but because of spencer, heidi and lauren arent best friends. and, todays episode was when heidi and spencer decided to spend their whole life together. lauren really didnt wanna go and support their marriage, but nevertheless she turned up cause she knew that, that she meant alot to heidi. well, i hope that my used to be best friend, realise that i want her back like we used to and that she means alot to me.

well anyway, i have ALOT ALOT of things i wanna get.
1) get either nokia e72 or nokia 6760(the shit thing is that it doesnt has wifi -___________-") or nokia e71.
2) get my turf shoesssssssssssss.
3) buy PARAMOREs 1st album, and the brand new eyes.
4) that pink mizuno sports bra. (its sooooo cute!)
5) buy new clothes.
6) get a new slipper! ( i so totally need it.)
7) bloody get my blooody own camera. (im so sick of Dslr.)
actually, i have alot more in my mind. its just that i forgot. heees. (:

Basically, i have approxly abt 14 or 15 days or so to live my life to the fullest. cause by 3rd nov, i wont be a Fatty Syaza anymore.

Aside from hockey, i think that youre always.... NOT there for me. not for when the times, i need a shoulder to cry on or anything. but like a job of being the greatest boyf. we're having the holidays now man, you should be free and shit from all the books and meet up with me. i mean, you do but not as much like we did last time. i understand, that youre workin and havin hockey too. but, damnn. its just... idk. sometimes, i honestly feel like i dont have a boyf but a great companion. you dont call me anymore, you text me less, you dont ask how my day was, you dont say ehhh, when can i see you again excitedly. damn, is it just me or is it you? its really really saddening.

-we are broken.
goodnight.

2009-10-17T01:12:00.002+08:00

its been feb mar apr may jun july aug sept oct.

MY HEART IS YOUR HEART.

2009-10-15T21:11:00.001+08:00

JANSENITES-NORTHLAND BBQ.

RAYA WITH THEM.

CLASS BBQ.

im trying to update as much like i did before my Ns, but it seems like ive just lost interest in updating this blog. well anyway, my week had been awesome. i think i have been going out for 5 consecutive days. really. first it was the Jansenites- Northland bbq, wonder8s raya, complete rest day at bas's crib and my class bbq. damnn. bloody hectic.

anw, theres more pictures than that. but ohh.. yknow.. too darn lazy. HAHA.

tmr is Grad day. its going to be so so so so sad to leave them. damn. usually on friday i'll rant, wishing that school would end early and be happy that the next day is a saturday. but now, all i can rant for is to meet you every single day.. i wish you meeeet youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu la mangkok.

2009-10-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

my exams ended like 3 days ago. but i was just tooo lazy to update.

i dont wanna go there, but i have to cause i paid. but the next day i have to go there cause i have to and its the only day that we're available and its at least a few weeks before 3rd nov. but at the same time i dont wanna go there cause ill be able to see your face but i dont wanna see your face so thats why i dont wanna go there, but the thing is i have to cause everybody is there.

-___-"

2009-10-04T00:51:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i feel like you dont make a difference in my life. Youre just good for nothing. At this very moment, i dont wanna be a part of you anymore. When i say you dont make a difference in my life, i literally mean it.
But the irony is i feel like shit when i dont talk to you.

Back to hiatus..

2009-09-30T22:28:00.001+08:00

HIATUSSSSSSS. (:

2009-09-25T13:47:00.003+08:00

NAHHH! Amek kau! Haha!

Happy birthday to my fatty brother! Eventhough you are always not at home busy doing i-dont-know-what. You are still my fatty brother who eats like a caveman that has never eaten for decades except for the fact that cavemans have long hair but youre botak! LoL. I wish you all the best in your NS life. (HAHA!) Soon you are going to NS i bet the house is going to be very dull, liveless without your stupid supercalifragilisticexpialidociously long sleeps, late night lights in the house, irritating irritation from you and your poke her face ringtone. I like the fact that youre dating this girl cause i like her. Not in a lesbo way of course. I hope you last long with her and maybe marry her. LOL. Goodluck in your future endeavours. Happy birthday!

Currently, im at the library. Blogging thru my phone. Suprisingly, studying. Haha! Anw, update you guys again!

2009-09-24T20:06:00.002+08:00

we have known each other for about 8 years. In the first 4 years of knowing you. It has been bloody awesome. We did everything together. Literally, everything. We cabot class together, we cut our hair together, we have the same phone and bla bla bla. We would tell each other about boys and gossip about alot of things. When there was me and you and then this boy became our close friend too. Which You just mentioned his name a few days ago. Jeeez, i miss the days when there was me and you. After our major exam, we did not want to be seperated and we wanted to go to a school that we both wanted. Now that we are on our own ways, i wish that someday something would bring us together again and we could pour our hearts out like we used to. What im trying to say is i miss you alot. Like really alot like anything to the maximama. Sometimes, it sucks to know about your updated life from another person. I wish we were like we were last time.

2009-09-24T00:06:00.000+08:00

there is no reason why i should come to sch.

To you: i feel like i deserve better.

XoXo

2009-09-22T21:19:00.000+08:00

bitches like you should realise what the fcuk youre doing. it gives a bloooody bad perspective of you when people like me know what youre up to. you contradict wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much. i dont even know if i should believe whatever shits that are coming out from your mouth.

and Apparently, Not every Love story has a Happy ending.

2009-09-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

im literally not excited at all.

i wished my dad is still here celebrating with us..
until today, sometimes i would take 5 cups instead of 4.

happy hari raya to all, im sorry for all my wrong doings and stuffs.

i nak mintak maaf banyak banyak, i harap you all akan maafkan.

selamat hari raya.

2009-09-19T10:39:00.000+08:00

i miss talking to this aunty.

the last 5 days nothing much happend, so i didnt bother blogging. so today, im blogging cause im up early. which i dont know why. -___-"

today is the eve of hari raya and im totally dont feel the vibe. it feels like every other day. jeeez. LITERALLY.

i havent been going to sch for the past few days cause i think its a total waste of time like BIG TIME. im just wasting my effort to get my ass off the bed everymorning and shower and come to sch and not do anything.

its been a month since i met you. dammn. i really wish to meet you today.

2009-09-14T23:35:00.001+08:00

i didnt wanna go to sch today cause 1) its a monday, i HATE mondays. 2) my source of inspiration is not coming. 3) its just a blooody waste of time. 4) i hate sch. and 5) i went home super late that night. i should have just sticked to my instincts. coming to sch was a total bummer, we DIDNT DO ANYTHING AT ALL.

sometimes, somethings are just unnecessary. but you have to say it again and again and again and again annnddddd aggaaaiiinnnn just to piss me off right?

xoxo
- i love you more each day.

2009-09-12T12:53:00.001+08:00

today is a saturday. Tomorrow is a sunday. And the next two days is a monday. -__-" sch. Damn it. Back to hell again.

Right now, im doing chemistry. Decided to take a break for a lil while. In a few hours time, ill be out breaking fast with the wonder8s. Again, miza is not coming. Theres nothing i can do.

I think things are great now. I wish it would stay this way. Fatshit has been the nicest person on earth these days. Awesome. I wanna meet up with bud. But theres so little time.

Till then, xoxo.
- your life will be what you do with it.

2009-09-11T00:18:00.001+08:00

its funny when you say you miss someone oh-so-badly but never do anything about it.

im so glad that the first three papers are over. but still, theres more to come on the 5th oct, damn it. my one week hols are like shit. first three days- N level. tmr, finish chem maybe go gayland with mum. sat- out with 8wonders. but jeez, miza is always not there. pfft. sunday- chill/study/study/study/study.

MY LIFE IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO BORINGGGG.

xoxo
- akucintafashit.

2009-09-09T16:48:00.000+08:00

We might as well be ~~strangers~~.

2009-09-08T21:46:00.004+08:00

i totally have no comment for ss. But just one word. One word that can explain it all, Sucks. Pffft.

Note to self: Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.

Ps: i thought you'll always be there. But i guess not.

Xoxo.

2009-09-08T12:59:00.002+08:00

jeeez. Its an hour till SS paper. I hope i wont screw it like how i did for my prelims. Damn. I hope Northern Ireland comes out tho. Or maybe Sri Lanka. But if its none of the above, ILL CRY MY EYES OUT. Promise. Okay, update again later!

Kicks and punches to you.

And, i miss youuuuu.

2009-09-07T22:19:00.001+08:00

i think sooner or later imma hafta go beijing 101. SHIT.

holy hell.

im so glad MT paper is over. seriously glad. but somehow, i felt like i wrote rubbish in it. pffftt, just hope for the best la kay. overall, the paper was fine. i could do paper2 but not paper1. how stupid is that. even imans friend said that Karangan is the simplest thing ever. and guess what, iman said if i fail malay. he ask me to change my name and race. HAHA. idiot. BIG TIME IDIOT. and i did the most dumbest thing ever, i couldnt think of anything and i went to write an argumentative essay for MALAY. stupid girl. nice! and the most smartest thing about me is i didnt even know that it was an argumentative essay. good luck to me.
-__-"

TOMORROW.

tmr is going to be a loooong day. MT Lc is at 8 and it ends at 830. and SS paper at 2. nice time huh. -___-" so i think, im going home. of course im going home, where else should i go? lol.

ZOMG, i hope whatever i memorised, studied and understand comes out tmr. if it doesnt, I SWEAR ILL JUST CRY. i really cant afford to fail humans.

i hope hard work gets paid off tho. ):

-good things happens to people who have patiences.

2009-09-06T22:55:00.002+08:00

I MELT EVERYTIME WHEN I LOOK AT OUR PHOTO.

goodnight.

2009-09-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

OMG. ITS TMR ITS TMR ITS TMRRRR!

after all my 4 years of studying in sch, finally. its here. holy mother of mary had a little lamb. OMFG. im just dumbfounded.
its like.. life is moving very fast. you dont stop and look around cause you might miss it.

omggggggggggg. im damn nervous/speechless/shaking real hard and anything else that you can think of! oh man oh man oh man. good luck to me.
and,

GOODLUCK TO EVERY CANDIDATE WHO ARE TAKING THEIR N LEVEL TOMORROW. ALL THE BEST.

and dear boy.
Good luck to you tooo. many hugs and kisses.

xoxo
- could you be the one standing in the crowd?

2009-09-06T13:54:00.003+08:00

hais, Singapore Schs. i miss playing floorball. ):

its been sooong since ive been this happy. maybe what fatshit said was true. its just that i didnt realise it. im always being sad and angry all the time, and i have no time to think for happiness.

im glad i made a move to talk to namera. its been supercalifragalisticexpialidociously long since i talk to her. i miss the moments where we would hang out together everyday and eat at syed, gossip about girls, talking about boys, blabbering about some horny shits and alooooooot more. Damn, it was awesome.

now that we are going to graduate soon. i hope we still stay this way and not neglect each otha. just like what i've learnt. friends come & go, but true friends stay. i was sooo touched when you said that you still care. awwwww. isly.

ill update again later!

2009-09-06T01:27:00.000+08:00

pfffft, what a night. NICE.
i keep doubting people these few days. jeez, i dont know why. esp you.

i think its really really really darn hard to trust someone eventhough you think that he/she is trust-able.
and to whoever thinks that im emo. just fo.

eventhough you are one of the greatest thing, i still doubt you.

-xoxo
F M L

2009-09-05T14:39:00.000+08:00

maybe coming out with this url was a good idea and has a great reason behind it. cause my life is a total shit-hole. well done.

2009-09-04T22:49:00.001+08:00

SLEEPING IS THE GREATEST THING TO DO RIGHT NOW.

pffft, goodnight.

2009-09-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

i tried to talk things out, but you didnt reply me. so im guessing that you are mad at me. if you think that i was referring it to you, you are so wrong. i wasnt, I SWEAR.

2009-09-03T19:36:00.005+08:00

i am totally full right now and i totally dont feel good.

i feel bad writing it. cause now, you dont text me in the morning anymore, you dont entertain me anymore. girl, i wasnt trying to hit you real hard, but i was just expressing myself. im sorry if you felt that i mean it in a bad way in a sense that i was tryna accuse you of your untrustworthyness, but i dont. honestly, i was just having this mixed feelings of anger/sadness/stupid and whatever you can think of. im sorry, i dont wanna not talk to you. cause, it sucks to the maximama. this is a shit feeling man, seriously SHIT. im sorry, forgive me?

im sorry, im bad.

im sorry your blue.

im sorry about all the things i said to you.

and i know i cant take it back.

And i just want to say im sorry.

2009-09-02T22:31:00.004+08:00

Imagine thats me and fat... Lol. Okay, fine im kidding. Not even close, i know. Haha.

TONIGHT WAS ANOTHER AWESOME NIGHT! I totally needed it babe. Cause its been like so bloody long la. (okay maybe not) only for the time being. When N level comes. Thats it, no more meet ups. Hais, me dont like. But still Thanks, i love you.

Speaking of N level. Its just a few days away. Damn. Girl, you totally need to get your head it the game.

Anywhoos, sch was great. ONLY for the last 30 mins. Lol. Cause hanis bo arina and me took lotsa pictures. Lol, all the pictures is with hanis. I got to know that only 1 out of 34 people came for class. LOL OR WHAT! I bet they didnt come cause they wanna study for SS. I know, cause im one of them. Haha.

I still cant get monday and today out of my head, its just too awesome to be forgotten. You came all the way down for me, thats so sweet. Youre one of the greatest thing that happened to me. Seriously. -isly

Ps: i miss my big brother. Haven't been seeing him around lately. ):
XoXo
- miserable at best

2009-09-01T21:16:00.006+08:00

DAMNNNNNNN. i wasted a whole day at gayland. (not exactly) but still! i did wasted my time, the point of going there is to buy baju for me and brathers. eventually, my brathers got theirs but i didnt. pffft. all thanks to me cause i couldnt decide and i didnt know what i liked. damn it.
i could have studied SS.
naww, its okay. no use regretting now.

so anywhooos~
today was a very very very loonggggggggg day. i lazy wanna say all this shit thingss. LOL, sorry.

sigh.
N level is just another 5 more days. shit.
BIG TIME SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT~

no use regretting now. i should have listen to fatshit. seriously. my aim is to do SS every single day till SS paper is over.

yknow, sometimes i feel like youre trying to cover up your life/love-life and wont admit that youre still not over it. i said, I FEEL LIKE. so im not accusing. woman, you have gotta move on. i know its hard, but his not yours anymore. you keep dwelling over it. writing it over your blogs and stuff. i feel so idk.. whenever i visit your webpage. its like, youre always talking about him i assume. sometimes, i even feel like i dont/cant trust you and seriously, that sucks. come on ____ you can do it. (:

life isnt always what you expect. life is about making choices, and it sucks cause im very very very very very fickle minded. dont believe me? ask fatshit.

xoxo

-somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight.

2009-09-01T00:41:00.003+08:00

i break my fast(lol, i wasnt even fasting.) with jansenites ppl. YEAYYYY! Its been like so long la since meet up with mahirah and basirah. Double yeayyyyyyyyy!

HAHAHA.

anw, I HAD A BLOOOOODY SUPER AWESOME NIGHT. HOLY MOTHER OF MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, I AINT KIDDING.

I SO LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUUUUUU.

2009-08-31T16:32:00.007+08:00

yknow what, N level is just approxly 7 days from now. HOLY MOTHER OF MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB. i have been busy studying lately. shocking huh? well, suck it in. I AM STUDYING. LOL.

honestly, sch was a total waste of time. to chocolate and lollipop, well done! your instincts are awesome! haha. hanis and aini performed, wow. they had guts. i think if i were them, i'd just pee in my pants. LOL.

i cant remember what i did during my weekends plus friday. OHH! i remember. i went to baybeats on friday night. HOLY HELL, it wasnt as awesome as i thought. but ohh wtf. pictures are all on ainis and ailahhs blog. too lazy to grab 'em.

saturday.
well, on saturday i had a YOG talk. bla bla bla. my mama and brather came for the talk too. it was just the normal typical talk where they say you-can-do-it thing. -__-" so since we were at redhill, my mama decided to go ikea. holy hell, i miss that place.

sunday.
WAS NOTHING. I JUST STAYED AT HOME AND STUDIED. -____-"

anw, i seriously dont know whats your problem. you dont share things with me anymore and you dont talk to me like we used to. i totally hate it. i honestly feel like we're strangers. so, fix it.

xoxo
- i miss you laaa mangkok.

2009-08-27T23:10:00.003+08:00

IM SO HAPPY !!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-26T21:22:00.004+08:00

So sad. Very sad.

Forgiveness means letting of a hurtful situation and moving on on with your own happiness.

Xoxo
-mwaaaa!

2009-08-25T21:08:00.005+08:00

hi earthlings. Firstly, i wanna say happy birthday to shah pb! Happy birthday you mangcock. Lol. I hope you do your best for your Os yeah. Stop wasting time cause it aint going to wait for you. xx.

And to ilahh, hanis and aini. Thanks yeah! But im cool. xx.

Today, i got my preliminary results. I totally have no comments. Really. I feel like whats the point of studying and still receive disappointing results? Pffft. But after so many lectures, thinking back. Why would you wanna give up now when you've come so far? So just build the bridge and get it over with. I promise to work my ass off and achieve good results. No, i dont wanna promise cause losers make promises, winners commit. So now yknow whats the diff?

when in the world are you going to call me. The last words you said to me was "ill call you back." so much huh. It doesnt kill you to send me a text saying "Fo. I dont wanna talk to you." dont repeat your excuses yeah. This time think of a new one.

School has been on my nerves lately. Everyday i end at 430. Pffft. Tmr im havin Malay class. Omg, i totally dont wanna go la. So not my cup of tea.

Baybeats starts on friday. I SO WANNA GO! But i aint sure man. I have so many things in my mind. Friday, i intend to meet fatshit. Hmmm.. Maybe we'll go there. Ill make him go if he doesnt want. Lol. Saturday, i have a talk for the YOG players from 1 till 3. Then my mama plans to go ikea after that. I dont think im going to baybeats. And on sunday, ill consider. But i still wanna go all three days! Damn it.

To you: even if the sky is falling down. I remember that. So cute.

Xoxo
- i want nobody but you.

2009-08-22T19:59:00.004+08:00

i swear, i miss calling up my dad and say "pa, da buke." when his at work. ):

2009-08-22T06:04:00.002+08:00

woah! I have been fasting for abt 35 mins now. Lol. Im awake, i fully intend to go back to sleep. But i cant. -__-" good luck to me yeah. Ttyl.

2009-08-21T22:25:00.004+08:00

i feel terrible. Seriously terrible. Im sorry, i shouldn't have asked. I mean, pffft. Idk. Im just sorry.

Aside from saying an apology. Early in the morning after physics paper. Me and bud decided to eat kfcs breakfast meal.(yeay!) Lol, it was so cute. So after getting fat, we went home. Bla bla bla. My mother asked me to accompany her to woodlands to buy some groceries. Bla bla bla. She didnt want to cook dinner so we ate macs! (double yeay!) so what im trying to say is. In this week i ate 4 days straight of fastfood. Nice! Who gives a shit. At least i eat whatever i want to before fasting. Lol.
And omg, i really cannot believe its ramadan alr! Ai sey bedah, i tak larat ey nak bangon pagi pagi. And the great thing is, i cant continue my sleep. Nice! Pffft, i've got hockey. Damn great or what. -___-"
I have a friend who can write a bloody long plus awesome plus meaningful poem. She sent me one just now and it was phenomenal! Seriously, i aint kidding. I wish you'd be a poet one day.

Anywhoos, goodluck to everybody who is puasering. Lol, what a word. Happy fasting!

To you: i wish you were here.

Ps: i still feel terrible.

Xoxo

2009-08-21T14:56:00.002+08:00

i was just google-ing YOG countdown. and i found this at clubSnap. WOAHHHH. lol.
im so touched by what my brother said.
bro: HAH! my sister is in pic #13!
the owner of the photo: wow, must be very proud to have a sister in the national team!
bro: oh! i certainly am proud of her! ahaha. good shot!tts what she said when i show her the pic.

awww. thanks bro. (:

anw, i did my last paper just now. it was superb! except, i forgot some formulas. LOL. omggg, im feeling euphoric! YEAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

2009-08-20T21:47:00.001+08:00

yknow, i think sooner or later i might have to change my phone. Its not that bad. But im just irritated. 1) idk wtf is wrong with my phone camera. It says feature not supported. Eat shit la. 2) sometimes, i get connected damn slow thru phone. 3) its ugly alr.
Actually, im studying right now. For physics. But somehow i just have this urge to blog. LOL. I think im getting the hang of not meeting you. Its a bad thing cause that means im used to it alr. I dont want that! And obviously, it shows that we dont have time for each otha. Pffft. Now that puase is like in the next two days, all the more i cannot meet you. Sigh. Where is the love we had before?

Xoxo
- im still loving you like it was the first time.

2009-08-20T14:19:00.004+08:00

MATHS2- (^_^)not exactly.
GEOG- CATASTROPHE. -_____________-"

actually, both papers were managable, its just that im too lazy/stupid/apathetic/camatose/whatever you can think of too,to think my bloody brains out. pfffft. damn it.
asshole, bitchface, pussyshit, dick head-ed girl. pffffffft.

okay! im happy now!

im super exhilirated for tmrs LAST PAPER, like finally(!!) omggggggg, super excited or what! but damn it, N level is not over yet. -______________-"

so anw, its been donkey/monkey/elephant/turtle/tiger/cat/
food/jelly/shoe/undies/bras/thousand/billion/million/second
/month/hours/DECADES of years i didnt meet up with you):

great, saturday starts puase. shit. the best thing is, i have a friendly. NICE. cannot eat drink, i think they want me to die.): so sad right. i will try my very best to endure. (yeah right)

xoxo
- i miss you, i miss your smile.

2009-08-19T23:24:00.003+08:00

its 1124pm. i studied geog but not maths. not literally did not study. but because of you i am revising it. thanks. i think without you, ill just mess my life up and die. i think you are the only one thats always constantly reminding me to study. OMG, IM SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE APART OF MY LIFE MAN. im contented with what i have right now. what else can i ask for? okay im being so gay. but seriously, without you ill just die.

anw, 1 more paper excluding tmrs papers. OMGGGGGG. IM SO HAPPY OR WHAT!

i know you know what you and i know about us.
goodnight.

xoxo

2009-08-19T14:50:00.010+08:00

I miss the good moments. Well, good things dont last forever. ): (i wish it would.)

Today, im not gonna rant on anything like i always do. i feel better than any other days that i've been thru in august.
today was awesome, i had MACS! yeayyyyyyyyyyyyy! its been like 1247893 days i didnt eat Macs. apparently, i was the last to finish.(like always) HAHA. i savoured every bit of it. lol, i sound like as if i have never had Macs. and audi, was just damn funny. seriously. stupid hand sanitizer freak.

Suprisingly, chemistry prelim paper was not as hard as i expected. Or maybe was it cause of a different setter? Maybe it was. Im so pleased that i manage to do every single question. Okay that was a lie. But i attempt 99 percent of the paper okay! Im so delighted. LOL LOL.
F&n was great too! Except the essay qs. But i still attempt it! Muahaha. Im so gay, im so gay, im so gay! Gay as in happy okay! Yeay!

Im only going to be happy today. But tmr, haha. We'll see. Cause tmr is maths2 and geog. |:
Totally no comments.
But the great thing is, prelims is coming to an end very soon! To be exact, 2 days. LOL.
but theres one disadavantage, N level is next. ): pffffft.

yknow, i think i have problems with my phone battery. it keeps dying very fast. da nak mati la kate kan.. -____________-"

okay honestly, i have to say this. i really love staring at my blog. imma mad woman, i know.
and, i feel like getting my tongue pierced. /:

xoxo
-take hold of my heart.

2009-08-18T23:15:00.004+08:00

this is the 4th time im posting, idk wtf is wrong with me. -_____-"

to: you.
i hope thats its not the end yet, and theres still many months for you to change your mind. i still do hope for you to give him a 2nd chance. like i said everybody deserve a second chance. and, i and you know that deep down, you dont wanna let him go.

to: you.
goodluck for your papers tmr. we are reaching the end of the line very soon! endure okay? XOXO

to: me.
i think you should stop using the bloody laptop and get your mind straight! make a choice, damnit. please please please make the correct decision. & my ass hurts.

and to whoever is reading this, i hope you have a very good night and have a good day tmr. for now, goodnight.

2009-08-18T22:43:00.001+08:00

I JUST WANNA DROP DEAD RIGHT NOW.

2009-08-18T22:00:00.004+08:00

i dont feel like studying. one, i have soooooooo many distractions. two, i miss you. three, the lappy is beside me. four, im hungry. five, dont find a reason why i should study. six, not enthusiastic at all to absorb infos into my brain. seven, im re-considering. eight, i have no confidence in passing. nine, i hate exams. and ten, NO COMMENT.

maybe we should protest to stop exams, so that we can help to reduce paper-wasting. good idea ey?

come on syaza, you can do it! i wish you were here to push me to study. ):

2009-08-18T18:36:00.003+08:00

I so love this photo. Haha.
Anw, i know its a cliche but today i totally screwed my math1 and ss! Seriously, big time screw it. Shit. Omg. I feel like committing suicide. I think the wake up call just smacked right in to my face. Pffft. Im so... Idk. Damn it. Last night, i freakin study my ass off for ss and the super great thing is i got everything mixed up. Airhole! |:

Today is a tuesday. 4 more days till prelims is over. ):

and, Guess what wtf im doing now. Im watchin the telly! Pffft. Tmr i have a chemistry and f&n paper and i still can bloody sit here and bloody watch the telly. Omg. Somebody please just bloody knock my head against the wall! Pffft.

2009-08-17T18:39:00.004+08:00

Today is the 2nd day of prelims. On my first day of prelims, i screwed my malay paper1 cause i fell asleep when thinking. Stupid, i know. Pffft. Eng was okay. But i hope i didnt write out of point or whatever. Ohh, whatever. Whats done is done. And so, after prelims i had to go for the YOG countdown. Holy hell, i didnt expect it to be THAT big. Omg! It was AWESOME TO THE MAX! i didnt care and just danced my ass off! Dj ko-flow was awesome. Many things happened but i TOTALLY LOVED THE PARTAY! The party ended at 9. Hais, i wish it would never end. ): so we left, went to memorial hall. Sat and eat and took pictures, played ice&water, played some other game and the guys were playing truth or dare but they were just playing dare. So... hahaha! Funny. Okay la, i wont wanna elaborate. I dont wanna embarrass you in public. LOL. So, every body was tired. We decided to go home. Omg, i was dead tired man! And the best thing was i have hockey trng the next day. But sadly, i didnt go cause 1) i needed to study for prelims 2) i was Dead tired like as though i ran 20km. And 3) my body ached the next day! Wow. That was my awesome friday.

Saturday.
NOTHING. Just stayed at home study, eat sleep shit watch the telly use the lappy. Oh oh! I wanted to meet fatshit and study. But he had to go for his cousins picnic. Haha. So cute.

Sunday.
MORE NOTHING. -_____-" ohh yeah. I wanted to meet fatshit again since we didnt meet on saturday. But too bad. He had a match. ):

And today.
Today was my second day of the prelims. I had english and malay paper2. Im so glad i could answer all of the questions except for one or two in malay paper. And, im really glad cause i understood the malay passage. Or else, die. Well, just to let you all know. My malay sucks to the max like anything! I swear. Okay, so everybody ended at 1130 today including the N(T) classes. I fully intended to go home with you or maybe just have a simple meet up. But youre going to the gym. (???? Say what.) during this period? Whatever. Maybe its just the way for you to relax? Idk. But today is the 17 for goodness sake! ): (now that you wished me, IM HAPPY!) -____-" not even a wish from you. So, i went home straight after sch today. I planned to study from 2 onwards. But when i was studying maths, the smart thing about me is i went to study on the bed. Apparently, i went to sleep instead of studying my brains off. Pffft. What a dumbass.

Tomorrow.
I will be having maths paper1 and social studies. Omfg(!!!!) goodluck to me.

Ps: sometimes, i feel like youre avoiding me when shes around.

Xoxo

2009-08-13T22:20:00.001+08:00

omg! Tmr is prelims. I am seriously trembling with fear! Omg, i dont know what to say. Yes, i know its just a prelim. But still!.. Oh man oh man.. Fatshit has been constantly reminding me to study for the past idk-how-many-months. But i was just to stubborn to listen. For that, thanks. But soon after, i realised that my Ns is not in the next few years. But next month. Infact, Not even 31days! Holy mother of mary had a little lamb. I know how much you want me to go sec5. But seriously, i know myself. i can but i just.. Idk. Ill consider.

Im glad that bad things are not getting in my way. Please stay this way. Fatshit and buddy and friends and hockey are doing good.

Tmr, after my prelims. I have to go for this yog event. And, Im glad that im not running. Im just doing this stupid march past. Poor angela. She badly doesnt wanna run, but she has to. Not your luck ey miss. I guess ill be seeing alot of other people tmr. Ooo! I can see david archie! Lol. I can see my Mr Hottie too! Yeay!

Till then, xoxo.

Ps: you mean alot to me. Oxox

2009-08-11T21:12:00.004+08:00

ITS ANOTHER 4 MORE DAYS TO PRELIMS. -___-"

i miss my dad. i miss my fatshit. i miss my happy life. prelims are in another 4 more days. i dont know what to do with myself. i cant think of the future. and i cant think for myself. honestly, i dont know what to do. can you please knock some sense into me? or maybe slap me as hard as you can. pfffft.

14 aug,is my first day of my prelims. english and MT paper1. after prelims, i have this YOG thingy i have to attend with the team. i hope its worth coming, cause i dont wanna waste my time doing something stupid when i can actly study at home.

so, just now. during sch, mrs lee didnt come to class and we had this young chinese teacher who came to relief us. infact he didnt look like a teacher at all but he was nice tho. so he asked us a few questions like who here is aiming to go to ITE? a few of my friends replied "aiyaaa, ITE in the pocket laaa." that made me think. where in the world am i going to? i really wish to go sec 5. but knowing myself, i cant. really cant. 1 cause my maths sucks to the max and 2 i cant stand the sch system. maybe ITE would be a good idea. but idk. SOMEONE HELP ME MANNNNN.

LIFE.
i think august is going to be a hectic month. hard core study for N which is on the 7 sept. puase is coming. idk what else is coming.
and can someone please tell me, is prepaid really worth using?

xoxo

2009-08-09T11:54:00.002+08:00

ytd was the most suckiest day so far. omfg. the night before i totally remembered that i have hockey the nextmorning. i was suppose to wake up at 645 am to i can meet wanny at 715. but instead, i woke at 7. pffffttt. so i rushed my way to delta. with an empty stomach. bloody hell. I ALMOST DIED PLAYING. after game, i really wanted to go home cause i was DEAD TIRED and SLEEPY LIKE SHIT. but i told nina that i was coming. so.. i came and slept at her house. -_______-" HHAHA.

and finally! i changed my grip alr! yeay! so gay.

dear fatshit, if youre reading this. i want you to know that. i so <3 you.

2009-08-07T20:45:00.001+08:00

I MISS FATSHIT LIKE ANYTHING LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!

2009-08-06T23:48:00.003+08:00

sometimes, i feel like i think too much. like LITERALLY THINK TOOOOOOOOO MUCH. idk.

somehow, i feel like running tmr. apparently, SOMEEEEEBODY just dont believe me. -__-" i really really realllllllyyyyyyyyy wanna play for this sats friendly eventhough its not the biggest event, i still wanna play.

AND, i reallly really reallllly think im not sick anymore. baaaaaaaah. idk laaaa.
and and, my boy, i am SO NOT emo. got it?

One more thing. even him, who is not at all my close friend is my number 16. but you? not even my top 20. so much huh. it tells it all. theres more to that.. i just dont wanna say it. cheers!

suckiest feeling so far.

2009-08-05T23:14:00.001+08:00

IM SORRY, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY ONE THOUSAND AND ONE TIMES SORRRRYYY!
that was so stupid. SORRY!

2009-08-05T21:08:00.002+08:00

somtimes, i wonder where does my brother go everyday? i mean, he comes home whenever he wants and he go out whenever he wants.

my mobile phone line got cut. so anything please call me okay? cause i wont be able to reply your text msgs.
anywhooos, ytd i had this very very very weird dream. but the thing is i cant remember what its about. then, this morning i felt sick. but i didnt care and just went to sch. it got worse. i slept like the whole day in sch. LOL. looks like im not going to sch tmr. and i dont wanna go to sch on friday cause i think its a waste of time. and monday is a sch hols! yeay!
i wish to play for this saturday though, i hope i get well soon. gay sia syaza. so umm.. prelims are really really nearing. ITS ANOTHER 9 MORE DAYS. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! holy mother of mary had a little lamb. no comments, seriously.
pffft, i planned to meet fatshit this friday or saturday to study. but since im sick, idk. i really realllllly reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaally hope i get well super soon.

and ohhhh! i SO WANNA WATCH HANGOVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! but no time ahh, shit.

till then xoxo. i lazy ah wanna type some more.

2009-08-01T23:30:00.003+08:00

finally today, i actly went out! or else i would be rotting at home. so, i went out with bud. we were suppose to meet at three. but at two thirty only then some one went to shower. -__-" its okay. basically today we just went to chill. idk why but for some reason i brought along my math assesment book. i know right! so we went to city hall. finally i bought my grip at penin! omg. initially my grip was silver, but now its BLACK. eww. total gross.

wtf, actually im so not happy right now. I JUST FUCKEN WANNA SCREAM AND SLAP YOU. SERIOUSLY, YOU FUCKIN ALWAYS LET ME DOWN. SOMETIMES, I JUST FEEL LIKE YOURE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME BUT WITH HER. WHENEVER IT COMES TO HER, YOURE ALWAYS REPLYING HER. BUT ME, IT'LL TAKE A THOUSAND YEARS FOR YOU TO REPLY ME. seriously, i just dont know what else to say anymore. actions speak louder than words my boy.

2009-07-31T21:42:00.005+08:00

pfffft, i just wrote a bloody long post. but i accidently went to close this progamme and everything is not saved. stupid shit.

im going to try and type again whatever i wrote.

sometimes, menses can be a bitch. i totally hate my mood swings, ill just scream and shout at people for no reason.-__-" but im not having any mood swings, im having cramps! stupid. grr. hate it.
anywhoos, im glad that today is a friday. seriously glad. actly, me and bud were suppose to go out plus study today. but during school, she told me 10 of her reasons why she cant go out today. apology accepted babe, dw. and the worse thing is fatshit didnt come to sch today. freakin pig, asshole. he wanted to pick me up from sch since he didnt come to sch today. but i told him i cant, cause me and bud were suppose to go out.-___-"( its okay, shit happens ) and and, me and fatshit planned to go study after my trng. but i cant meet him again cause bud wanna go out tmr instead of today. so yeahh, again i cant meet him. i think its been like uhh.. 1 week i didnt meet up with him. it doesnt matter, he can live without me.
speaking of trng, i just feel damn lazy to train early in the morning under the bloody hot sun.(grr, stupid global warming!) but the great thing is, this month we are only having trngs once a week. yeay! its a great thing cause 1) prelims are coming. i totally need to prepare for N. |: 2) puase is coming.(omg, so fast!) and 3) idk whats the 3rd reason.. haha, well basically its just those two reasons.
and oh yeah! about hockey, finally the u16 team is going out for trip! double yeayyy! we are going to aussie! but not so soon tho, its in december. i really really really hope its not going to be cancelled or postponed again just like our 2 or 3 previous trip that was cancelled or postponed due to h1n1. grrrr, fuck the virus. holy mother of mary had a little lamb, we have about 1 year to train for the 2010 YOG. omg. bloody scary or what!

i really have to do some hard-core studying soon, seriously. lol. BUT IM SERIOUS, I REALLY HAVE TO.

ps: sorry babe, we'll meet another day okay?

xoxo

2009-07-30T20:24:00.003+08:00

i know its been about a month and idk how many days. i dont think i should say sorry cause my blog is just dead. nobody bothers to read it anw.

i'm blogging because i just feel like i should say it here. i mean, im just blooooooody heart-broken? idk man, seriously. i think its a bloody stupid reason. idk if the source that i saw was really really really true or not. but i believed it. im just damn speechless. really.

Anywhooos, before this happened i was bloooooody happy cause finally the u16 team is going for a trip, to aussie. after N level. pffft. ill try to blog everyday.

2009-06-25T21:58:00.000+08:00

THANKS FOR NOT BEING THERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU.

2009-06-25T21:51:00.002+08:00

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCCCCCCKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
I'M SO PISSED.

2009-06-23T22:42:00.002+08:00

I AM SO BORED I CAN JUST DIE WITH MY EYES OPEN LOOKING AT THE SCREEEN.

fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk fvuk.
BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED.
I HATE YOU FOR NOT TALKING TO ME I HATE YOU FOR NOT TALKING TO ME I HATE YOU FOR NOT TALKING TO ME I HATE YOU FOR NOT TALKING TO ME I HATE YOU FOR NOT TALKING TO ME.
damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it damn it.

2009-06-20T23:01:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i dont get what exactly you want from me? honestly, i just wanna scream and shout in your face telling you how much i dont get you. you want me to pay the bills, i can. but come on la, i dont work. i dont earn my own money. obviously you have to give me my monthly allowance to pay. but this month, you gave only like uhh $70? and you want me to play my $105 bill. -____-" im just sooo.... frustrated. and, partially im in the wrong too. i should have kept some money for my bills. besides, you dont have to pay so much cause you dont have to send smses to your bf and friends telling them where to meet what to bring and what to wear. pppfftttt. its useless vent my anger here.

anywhooos, spore won the match against USA just now. the score was 3-1. i was sooooooooooooooooo glad to see you just now. really. but everytime i dont get to talk to you. my mood will just change rapidly from an angel to a bad ass attitude devil. tmr is finals, at Johor. im not going. and its only approxly abt 1 and a 1/2 day for me to wait. i cant stand it, i freakin miss you like anything.

tmr, i have floorball match against NUS Jupitans. grrrr. i have been playing hockey for the past 1 month, and suddenly tmr im playing floorball. and ohh yeah, have i mentioned that my june hols SUCKS? basically, i spend almost EVERYDAY going out for either hockey trng/ floorball trng/ hockey/ jwc. i dont have the time to freakin stay at home and do some homeworks or even call up my bestfriend. i miss arina like alot. im sorry that ive been neglecting you these past few weeks. i really am sorry.

tmr- fb match.
monday- trng 6-8.
tuesday- trng 4-6.
wednesday- watch transformers, trng 6-8.
thursday- sunday- in msia facing hell.
monday- DIE.

imiss you):

2009-06-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

ITS A LIVING NIGHTMARE LIVING HERE.

2009-06-13T00:47:00.003+08:00

its been decades since we talked. i miss you alot. looking thru the photos are just making me going crazy. though, you have your thing to do, you still have to remember to study. i have to admit, i havent been studying. i promised myself to study, but i guess promises are meant to be broken. sometimes, it sucks to actually know that your actually not there when i needed you the most. it feels as though we're nothing. like nothing at all. but ohh, wth. i have to understand, i do. really.i just dont have anything else to say. but from the bottom of my heart, i fcuken miss you.

2009-06-10T01:31:00.002+08:00

GO SILAS!

Sorry i havent been updating. Busy la babe. Everyday im not at home. Anw, its the hockey season. Fatshit is playing. Obviously, ill go to support. But still havent get to take a perfect picture with him. Grr. Its okay. Theres always next time.

Floorball is doing good. We won youth by 1 goal. Well done singapore schools girls.

U16 girls are suppose to swim at sk on thurs. (like finally im going swimming!) but i dont know if its really confirm. And, guess what. I've got f&n class on thurs. And fridays practical is cancelled. Grr.

I wanna bake for you. But i dont know if im able to send it to you. I really wish it would really happen, where you and me at the lobby talking. Me saying happy birthday to you. You smiling happily. I will really really really try my best to send it personally.

Dont forget about me.
Day 6.

2009-06-06T00:03:00.003+08:00

Today, is the most happiest day of my june hols. early in the morning, i managed to get my ass off bed and watch fatshits match against South Africa. they drew 1-1. after the match we( me and wanny )went home, to get our stuffs for the JWC opening ceremony.
during the bus ride to sengkang, i was all the way thinking of what to do and thinking of fatshit. i was nervous though. team spore was the last to reach, so they had to squeeze with msia to sit. not literally squeeze, but minimum space. I WAS BLOODY SHY/EMBARRASSED/SHY/DONT-WANNA-SHOW-MY-FACE LA! then bla bla bla.. took pictures with the guys. i took picture with fatshit. holy hell, definitely, my face spoilt the picture. grrr, i hate myself. i so freakkkkkkiiinn miss you right now.

and and, the second reason why today was my happiest day ever is because, we are surrounded by other hott guys from other countries. holy mother of mary had a little lamb, its like im dreaming mansxz! i cant explain, really. but out of all of the hot people, i still love one only. (:

Day 2.

2009-06-04T13:08:00.002+08:00

right now, life sucks. Today, the pussycat dolls are performing in spore. And im not going. Fcuk, i should have just bought the ticket eventhough i have to go alone. Its not like im their number one fan or something. But i just wanna go. Baaah! Its okay. The second reason why my life sucks right now cause fatshit is checkin in today. *sadddd* i can see him one more time though tmr.

And oh yeah, i watched night at the museum2 ytd. Holy hell, i laughed my ass off. I wanna watch hannah montana the movie. And, i really need to do something about my studies and i really have to start doin my coursework.
Today, im going to sk. Its a full dress rehearsal. Grr.

And i thought katy perry was the one who sang i do not hook up. Anw, i still prefer katy singing it rather than kelly.

Sometimes, without you i dont know what to do. Its like im lost.

Day 1.

2009-06-02T23:20:00.002+08:00

I HAD TRNG AND I SWEAR I WAS DEAD AND I GOT TIRED EASILY. IDK WHATS WRONG.

i dont know whats my day like today. -___-" sucky i guess.

i have F&N class tmr. freakin 9 in the morning. (wtfwfkuyhzvlmnegrh????) after class, meeting ____. i so love you. then at 4 have to leave for trng. grrrrrr..

i really really think this stupid menstrual cycle is always getting me not in the mood. and ____ has been saying that im being bloody emo today.

i still cant believe you told me that, when before that was another story.

its 2 more days till you check in to the hotel for the whole month. ):
IM MISERABLE.

2009-06-02T14:45:00.002+08:00

honestly, i really dont like my mood now. Fuck menstrual cycle.

my mood: sucks.

2009-06-02T14:07:00.002+08:00

i bet everybody is enjoying holidays now. Except for me. I am totally not free for the first two weeks. Honestly, its bloody tiring. Yesterday i had this rehearsal for the opening ceremony for jwc. We were told to be there at 5. And we did reach there on time. And guess what. We had to wait till 730 and We were only there for a briefing for about 30mins. Grr. Ohh what in the world. Fatshit had trng ytd. Like finally after so long i got to see him!

Anywhoos! I badly wanna go swimming.

I miss everybody. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart. I miss everybody from my not so close friends to my buddy to my sister to my 8 wonders and fatshit.
Like LITERALLY EVERYBODY. I swear. Sigh.

I have 3 months to N level and it seem like im not doing anything about it.

2009-05-31T01:11:00.003+08:00

YO! this post is actually for 30 may 2009.

today i reached home at 1 am cause went to watch terminator. i would say the show was very interesting and loud. but the ending of the show, it was kinda corny. idk why. intially, the first half was saucesome. but idk.. not enough mney to end the show. haha, get it? its okay if you dont.

anywhoooos, i woke up at 11am. i was very reluctant to go for the KC's carnival, but ohh-what-the-heck. i went. IT WAS AWESOME! totally! i mean, i didnt expect myself to enjoy this much. although, i was bloody exhausted cause we walked everywhere.
okay, i dont know what else to say cause im having this mini-headache and i think its a sign that im going to be sick very soon.

the guys are having a match later at idk what time against chile i think.. i wanna go, but i cant. fcuk. i have bloody trng. we are suppose to play a match against the u18. since, they dont exist anymore. juanma said that we're playing against each other. i dont think most of them can make it cause they are having their Os MT paper on monday. im hoping for the trng to be cancelled so i can go watch the guys match. and and, the u16 girls are helping out(not exactly) for the JWC. we have to help carry the other countries flags. idk if i should be happy or annoyed.-___-"

and oh yeah, some of them had SRC today. hope ya'll had a great time. and and! I bumped into miza(nss) and basirah today! I WAS SUPER EXCITED THAT I SAW BAS! yeay! yknow what. IM SUPERCALIFRAGALISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUSLY TIRED. i wanna sleep.

1 more thing, sometimes i just dont get it why you wouldnt wanna tell who you're going out with. i mean, if you were to go out with your family you'll be so happy and all to tell me that your going out with 'em to where ever you're going. but when your going out with your friend and not disscussing it with your other friends and not even telling them like ohh im going to here and there bla bla bla.. it sucks to know when you actually went out with that person. baaaah, its okay. i know you wouldnt get it.

GOODNIGHT!

2009-05-30T00:45:00.000+08:00

and, youre back. Im so glad. XoXo

2009-05-30T00:30:00.004+08:00

hi there.
I think i know why i keep complaining that im tired these few days. Thats cause i've been training till night and when the next day when i wake up it feels as though i dont have enough sleep(so true) and i definitely have something on. Later i have this kc carnival to attend cause they invited us. And its like not nice to tell them we're coming but in the end never come. You get me? I swear i dont feel like going cause firstly im supercalifragilisticexpialidociously tired and i kinda wanna save money. Grr. Can i blog again tmr? Im super tired. Please and thank you.

2009-05-28T19:54:00.006+08:00

"paramore wannabe"

Funny memories i had there. Haha!
Today was the worse of the week. Holy hell, i know its a cliche. But today was a really really really really really really a thousand times really really waste of time. I couldn't wake up due to ytds trng. I really didnt wanna go, my body was aching and i was bloody tired. However, i forced myself to go cause its the last day till june hols. Early in the morning, some teachers made us sit and stand for like a gazillion times. That freakin changed my mood. They were talking about some shitty crap on smoking and about cyber bullying. And this guy( i dont know who ) got public caning cause he threatened and insult this other guy and im guessing this other guy went to complain to the teachers. Poor thing. After that, we went back to class. In the paper that we received stated lessons from 800 to 1. But NONE OF THE TEACHERS WENT TO CLASS. I realised i spent my whole time sleeping till 11. Its like almost half the time in sch. Infact! More than half. Holy mother of mary had a little lamb. I should have just stayed at home. To those people who didnt come today, you guys have such great instincts! Well done!

Ughh, whatev.

Anywhoos. I think you are such a great big liar. I mean, you lie in a way thats.. Idk? Ohh whatever that makes you happy.

I have this urge to go swimming! Me and wanny plan to go swimming, but idk when. Haha. Oh man.. Tmr is ptc. Holy hell, most prolly my mum is gonna screw me. Or maybe she'll say its all because of hockey and floorball and ask me to quit. Haiya, the same thing over and over again.

And oh yeah, i counted my really-nothing-going-on-day. Its only about 5 to 6 days out of a month. This is too much man!

This is what i have.
2nd june - combine sch trng 2-5.
3rd - meet f&n teacher in the morning, 6-8 u16 trng
4th & 5th - rest.
6th - u16 trng 9-11.
7th - SSG Vs Youth 12pm, u16 trng 9-11, JWC Spore vs netherlands 530pm.
8th - JWC spore vs india 730pm.
9th - SSG trng 2-5.
10th - u16 trng 4-6, JWC Spore vs Poland 730pm.
11th - JWC Spore vs New zealand 730pm.
12th - f&n practical.
13th - u16 trng 9-11am.
14th - u16 trng 9-11am.
15th - rest.
16th - u16 trng 4-6pm.
17th - 19th - rest.
18th - going msia.
20th - u16 trng 9-11, u16 vs u14 6-8pm.
21st - SSG Vs Jupitans 12pm.
22nd - u16 trng 6-8.
23rd - u16 trng 4-6.
24th - u16 trng 6-8.
25th - 28th - u16 trip to msia.
29th - sch reopen. (wtf!!)
30th - DIE.
1st july - my funeral.

Grr, dont know what to say alr la.

I miss you, i miss your smile.
12 more hours.

2009-05-27T23:28:00.005+08:00

hello there. Im trying my very best to update within 10 mins. Cause IM LIKE BLOODY TIRED LIKE SHIT CRAZY TIRED OR I COULD JUST JUMP DOWN AND DIE. That means i can sleep forever! Yeay!

Anw, today we had olympics. My team was hanis, rat, arina and myself. We played fb, holy hell. I swear we made nuisance of ourselves. All of us except arina was playing. Grr. She was shy. Cute la she.

Anw, what pissed me off today was getting a form to the parent-teacher-conference. My bloody percentage i got was 43 percent. Im like what in the world!? Grr, dont know what to say alr la. Arina and bo and nurul and irna got selected to recieve this award for speech day. And oh yeah, not forgetting fatshit. He got it too. Smart people huh.(inside joke) Haha!

5 days seems to be as long as a week. And 3 days feels like 5 days. Hurry la! Endure syaza.

At 11 you said you will call me in 30mins time. But now is alr 1145Pm. Must be busy huh. I understand.

And omg! June hols is in 2 days time. Which means more running, less fats, less eating, more tired, more study = no life = me = syaza. (: but im still looking forward to it though. Teehees.

Okay la. I cant take it any longer thought that i was stronger. I hate this part right here. Wtf?

GOODNIGHT.

Ps: i miss you. 2 more days.

2009-05-27T06:43:00.002+08:00

HATE GOING TO SCH. Grr. Its confirm going to be a bloody waste of time. -____-"

2009-05-26T23:25:00.007+08:00

My bestfriend.

hello everyone. Its 1130pm. And its bloody boring. In the previous post i wrote about 90210. And holy hell, i dont understand a single thing about the show now. Grr. Cause i've been missing a few episodes. Im so pissed now.
Anw, i really dont wanna go school today. Cause
1) its boring.
2) your not there.
3) lazy to wake up early.
4) waste of time. And lasty, its even boring-er without you.

And guess what! Im blogging thru my phone. Haha. I just remembered tmr have u16 trng! Aiyo. Lazy laaaaa..

Anw, i watched angles and demon the other day. It was great! I rate 9 out of 10.
Theres alot of movie i wanna catch. But no money and no time. Life sucks.
Somehow, i cant wait for june hols. Eventhough my june hols aren't hols im still looking forward to it. My june is filled with u16 trngs and fb matches. And during the last week i wont be in spore.
Its getting late. Imma sleep now. Goodnight!

Ps: i miss you.
4 more days.

2009-05-26T20:53:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WANNY!
i love you like my own sister(:

HEYY.

i know i know, the last post was 18may. and now is 26 may. just havent had the time to update cause my computer died, and i only can rely on my brothers lappy. -___-"

sucks, i know right!

anw, my results are wayyyyyyyyyyyy unexpected. i really really have no idea what happen and what caused it.

basically, i failed everything. Miraculously, i passed my malay. seriously.

I think school is just a waste of time this week. on monday, we had lessons, that was fine. but i didnt attend sch today. cause i dont find it a reason why i should come when im not invole in any of the activities. i guess im going to sch tmr, im playing fb! but i dont feel like playing. ANYONE! PLEASE SUB FOR ME!

90210 START ALR! I BLOGG AGAIN SOON!

4 more days.

2009-05-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

HEY,

i deceided to start blogging again. haha, hopefully i 'll blogg most of the time. i cant promise to blogg everyday.

Anw, today was the last day of mid year exam. im bloody glad that its over, or else i'll lose more hair. and soon, i have to go to beijing101. haha, wtf? crap. I think i screwed most of the papers, i THOUGHT i could do most of them, but i dont think so. i guess somebody is right huh! *kening naik naik* HAHA! WTF?

Currently, im suffering from muscle aches. godd, it sucks. Talking about muscle aches, its been long since i went for u16 training, i feel bad not going, but i just bloody hate standing under the bloody hot sun. STANDING UNDER HOT SUN= DARK. i SO HATE being dark. Ironically, i cant stop myself from playing hockey. Finally, i went to training last saturday, holy mother of mary had a little lamb. We were SUPPOSE to have training, but they had this youth programme going on where the u16 girls& guys, u14boys and SA pri had to combine and did some thingy. i kinda regretted coming for that, but ohh-what-the-heck.

and yesterday, i had floorball. holy hell, i really think we screwed it. Singapore School Girls lost to Callisatans, 3-2. i seriously think we could have done better. grr, 23rd may Vs OSB OWLS. = DIE. ohhh my, i really have nothing to say anymore. just, do my best i guess.

AND AND! I HAVE NO SCH TILL THURSDAY. yeay! haha! that means, ROT AND GET FAT! THREE CHEERS!

I hafta start customizing my skin and edit everything that needs to be edited. gaaaaaaaah.

till then,
xoxo.